Not

She doesn’t usually get why she feels like she’s never good enough most of the time.
But sometimes she does.
And when she does, the ground shakes. She falls. Her hands clasp and unclasp. She somehow feels like she’s been shredded to even smaller pieces because she knows she just glued her tiny parts which were broken before. When she does, she understands why he abandoned her in the middle of the road in the middle of the night. She fathoms the questions she always asks herself. Why he sends broken promises as his parting gifts and why she lets him. Now she gets why after she mends his ripped tapestry, he immediately bids her goodbye. Why she accepts him with open arms every time he comes back after he leaves. Why he doesn’t need to explain to her his side. Why she loves the mixture of his personality with a rebellious view of the world. Why looking at his eyes are enough. She understands everything- why she fell, why she keeps coming back, why Natalie chose Keith when she has Raphael.
But what she doesn’t know is that the problem isn’t her, it’s him and his blindness.
He doesn’t see the art that flows through her veins. He doesn’t appreciate the magic that sparks between her teeth when she laughs and when the dimple on her right cheek comes out. When he looks at the night sky, there are thousands of lights glimmering above, unable to distinguish which are stars, meteors, satellites, and airplanes. But when he sees a star in front of him, he focuses his attention on a satellite. It’s not her fault why she doesn’t have a face as lovely as a perfectly roasted marshmallow in the bonfire. She knows that no one likes it that her face is not fragile because it shows her stern, resilient personality. No one recognizes the worth of her smiles. He doesn’t see that deep inside, she’s a castle of glass… too easy to break.
She
isn’t
good
enough.
And sometimes knowing that is enough.

m x

(image from deviant artist cartoongirl7)

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