Stages of Being Jelly

These stages apply to any relationship. They are arranged from calm to explosive. In this, you will be able to distinguish what kind of a jealous person you are based on the examples. Please be true to yourself. It is okay to feel things, you human. We all feel a little jealous sometimes.

STAGE 1 – The Bones That Are Made of Calm

The first stage is like the final stop of jealousy joy ride in a relationship. In here, you have already set everything free. You have feelings, but jealousy isn’t one of them anymore. You are calm. You are free. This stage is marked with the full potential of trust. This stage is also called as, “The Prestigious Stage of Nirvana.” Hallelujah, commitment is the key!

STAGE 2 – Almost There, But Not Quite

You have calmed your tits down. Your tight hold has loosened up now; you are beginning to trust your partner more. If it’s a friend, then he/she is now allowed to hang out with other friends without you feeling bad about it once in a while. This is the start of something new . . . you are slowly becoming aware of the fact that they love you, they really do. They just need some time with other friends, too.

STAGE 3 – The Silent Treatment Is a Façade

Lock the doors.
This is it.
“Hi, I am in no position to be jealous, but I am. Go; marry the person you chose to be with instead of me. Live a happy life, ok? No, I’m not jealous. But I hope you break your neck or something. Yes, I’m sure I’m not jealous. What’s your problem? I’m not jealous, I swear! Huh. Nope. What? Uh-huh. Not really.”

This is stage of denial; the stage where you’re so afraid to lose that person so you just don’t want to listen to the tiny jealous bitch voice inside you. But you are listening. You’re now feeling things. Little things annoy you, and it’s not getting any better.

Prepare for the next one. Cuz it’s fucking inevitable.



Relationships, whether short-term or long-term, go through this stage. This is that shit!!!! The! Shit! That! Makes! You! Go! AGGHHHHGHGHGHHHHH!!!!!!!!! You are a fucking bomb! Why are you a bomb????? What is this feeling??? Jealousy??????
No. Um, maybe.
Well, yes! You’re just really angry and scared and—you don’t know, you just want to punch someone in their fucking face.

Am I ugly? Are my thighs too big? Am I missing a leg? Do I look like a person cut in fucking half? Is my mere presence not enough? What? WHAT??!?!?!??

That motherfucker. I am a fucking gem.


This is the stage where you realize that you were just too hungry.
And you just needed to eat.
And Eat.
And Eat.


((image source: 1_1280.png))

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